Calypso - Coconut Colada Limeade

Today is my first of two days off, and I'm trying to multi-task a bit... so I thought I'd blog about some stuff I've recently tried.

This morning was spent at the movies with friends (How To Train Your Dragon 2 -- good movie, made me cry, dammit! And I want a Toothless). After that, I didn't want to just go home so I headed to Zanotto's Family Market for some lunchy snacks, and then parked it in the shade of the Rose Garden down the street and noshed while I read my book.

Of the few beverages I nabbed, I opted for this lovely coconut/lime drink since I like coconut and lime. Usually when a food type item is comprised of components that separately I enjoy, my brain tends to think that together they'd be fine (which isn't always the case when I tried the cheese/corn ice cream... I'm sure it's an acquired taste, but blech). So here we have two popular flavors much like kiwi and strawberry or peanut butter and jelly together in one bottle for your beverage enjoyment.

At the time I first sipped this, I had just snacked on two sausages that were rather peppery so perhaps that tainted my first impression - which wasn't all that great - but then after the pepper taste went away, and I took a few gulps of water to cleanse my pallet, I tried again... and STILL didn't like it.

Now it's not terrible... it just (to me) tastes like it's lacking something.

The bottle starts off with residue at the bottom of the bottle, but then on the bottle it says to "shake well" and so I did. Right next to those instructions, it says "Real Lime Bits" so I'm assuming that is what had settled at the bottom that I was mixing into the rest of the bottle. I popped the top after I shook it all about, and it smelled of coconut (not so much lime), but the smell wasn't all that great to me either. It was sort of like an imposter fragrance of sorts... like it smelled like it but not quite.

Being thirsty, I took really big swigs which the 20 fl oz bottle was happily to give, and the second time around, I just didn't taste the pepper aftertaste the sausages left the first time. It wasn't bad, but I kept thinking it would taste better if it had some vodka in it or something.

I made the commitment buying it from the store, and like the good consumer that I am, I drank the whole thing down (all 2.5 servings), and in the end was still left with a 'meh' feeling. The ingredients seem to be natural (nothing I can't pronounce or had to look up to figure out what it was - although it was only 10% juice), but it just didn't leave an impression on me.

Would I ever try this again?: Most likely not. I think I had one of the drinks from this line before since the labeling looks familiar - at best guess it was a pink lemonade - but I can't remember much of that time so I guess it didn't leave much of an impression on me then. And unless the one I had today was made into a cocktail of some kind, I won't be trying it again.

http://www.calypsobeverages.com/
http://www.calypsobeverages.com/limeades.html

King Juice Company, Inc.
Milwaukee, WI 53221

Fabrique Delices Truffle Mousse

So last night I was hungry. Hadn't really eaten all day. (Got a soup/salad combo for lunch. Salad was questionable so I tossed it. Drank the soup. Tomato bisque is yummy.) Had a small piece of cheese pizza since it was ordered for our department meeting that day. (Seriously. How do they cut those things? One slice was a few inches wide - the one I took cuz I'm trying to be good with food - and others were almost a quarter of the pie. WTFrak?!?!)

Anyway, I went window shopping and ran some errands, and after all that, I was feeling really lazy and tired and was thinking about hitting a drive-thru on the way home so I didn't have to get out of the car. But in my attempt to be good with food, I opted to go to Whole Foods (I LOVE that place) and grab a healthier snack/dinner option.

I was wanting salmon but instead of getting the filet, I grabbed a thing of sushi. Then I tried some other things - sweet and sour tofu, some spicy sweet potato dish - and got myself some chicken pot pie for my actual dinner. (The tofu was on the unimpressive side, but the spicy sweet potato thing? Yum!)

I ended up in the cheese section. (Me? Cheese? Duh!) The time I had gone to Whole Foods before, I had noticed they had a sample/bite size section in the cold case near some other cheeses and pastas. Not impressed with the selections I picked up then, I was actually looking for some cheese when I came across the mousses and pates.

Now I've had whipped caviar before (quite tasty I must say), but never a pate or mousse so I thought... why not? The first one I looked at caught my eye (mainly cuz it was on sale... though sale price was a dollar off the regular price). Out of the four they had there, one was around $13.00, the rest the same price as the "Truffle Mousse" I chose. The I went in search of some crackers to spread the mousse on, grabbed a drink, and left with my food purchases.

Okay. So what it says on the label... Made with chicken liver, sherry wine, truffles and mushrooms. Fully cooked. Ready to enjoy. Topped with aspic. PORK FREE.

No pork? I lived. Don't worry. I don't have to pork ALL the time, but dammit pork, you are one tasty treat.

The ingredients are what you would expect: chicken liver, chicken fat, water, eggs, sherry wine, modified cornstarch, mushrooms, salt, sugar, nonfat dry milk, truffle, porcini mushrooms powder, dry onions and pepper. ("Modified" made me think "we can rebuild him, we have the technology" but I'm sure that's not what they meant.) The aspic was made of water, gelatin, vinegar, brandy, salt and carrageenan. (Contains: milk, eggs.)

No grams trans fat per serving. Serving size is 2oz and it's a 7oz package, but they say there are four servings per package. Wouldn't that need an 8oz package then? And it's 200 calories so don't eat the whole thing in one sitting.

So right off the bat, I will say this - NOT a big liver fan. Nope. A friend once told me a story about how his mom made liver and had marinated it in something which made it taste different, so when he was invited to stay for dinner at his friend's house back when he was a kid, he said he'd stay even though his friend told him to say no and bolt for home. He remembered everyone trying for the smallest piece, but he grabbed the biggest piece thinking all liver tasted like his mom's. Nope! But since he was a good kid, he was polite and ate the whole thing. It wasn't until later that he learned how his mother prepared it and realized his mistake.

In my childhood, my mother continually tried to get me to eat liver, but I was adamant about it. No way, Jose! I think I had tried it once - just a tiny bit - and it tasted icky. My brother ate it, but then back in the day (and still a little bit now) my brother would try anything. With me? It took me until I got older to try stuff I didn't care for when I was younger.

When looking at the mousse, I thought, "Hey! I've since eaten brussel sprouts, sauerkraut and horseradish. I can give liver another go." I also thought back on the whipped caviar thing. Regular caviar, though I've never tried it, just seemed unappealing to me. I always felt I would react exactly as Tom Hanks did in the movie "Big". But my Seester (Margrit) has never steered me wrong, and I was with her and her family so I tried it, and it was good. It was just made different... just like my friend's mother's liver. So I figured chicken liver in mousse form wouldn't be so bad.

And it wasn't.

So it comes in this mini bathtub looking dish wrapped in plastic wrap that was practically vac-u-sealed over the mini-tub. Took me forever to get through it to the actual mousse. Then I thought there was another wrap to peel off, but no... when I squeezed the tub, the contents poked up and out of the tub like one solid block of... stuff. What I thought was another layer of wrap to get through was actually the aspic on top of the mousse. I tasted a bit of it. Per the ingredients, it was all edible. I didn't personally care for the consistency though the flavor was tasty. I just peeled the aspic off and grabbed a cracker and scooped some up.

I had it in my mind that I wanted cracked pepper crackers. Love those things. But I couldn't decide which ones I wanted. Finally decided on one and also got a plain old cracker (like Ritz) kind. The cracked pepper cracker kind of overshadowed the flavor of the mousse. So I spooned up some and ate it plain.

Ahhh yes. By itself I could definitely taste that it was liver, but the whipped/creamy aspect of the food plus the seasonings make it taste much better than I thought it would. Still I felt it was missing something. Oddly enough, I think pepper would have made it better so perhaps the cracked pepper chips were a good pairing after all. (The chips were tasty on their own as well. Perhaps I'll write about them next.)

Would I ever try this again? It didn't leave a lasting impression on me so I won't be actively seeking it out at the stores again, but if I were at a party, and it was on the snacks table, I'd definitely have some.

http://fabriquedelices.com/product/truffle-mousse-pork-free/
http://fabriquedelices.com/

Made in USA
MFG by Sapar USA, Inc. - Hayward, CA
Phone: 510-441-9500

ROCKSTAR SUPER SOURS - BUBBLEBERRY & GREEN APPLE

So there's this deli near my work. Sometimes I go there if I have enough time, and I haven't had breakfast, and my stomach lets me know that it ain't havin' that kind of thing.

It was there that I first found Bubbleberry... which in all honesty wasn't all that impressive save the pretty colors. It kinda tasted sour, and I've grown accustomed to the general energy drink flavor so it just tasted like a flavored Rockstar to me.

Green Apple on the other hand...

I've talked about my love for sour stuff before - mostly in the realm of candy - but "Super Sours" intrigued me. I chugged Bubbleberry with no problem. Green Apple though... that was actually sour tasting. It kind of reminded me of a Jolly Rancher.

As far as the flavor, I'm not a real green apple fan. I mean, they're good for baking and all, but I was always more a red delicious sort of gal. And green apple in other things - like Jolly Ranchers - were never my taste of choice. This, however, made me happy.

Maybe it had something to do with it actually tasting significantly different than just an energy drink as well as green apple.

Maybe it had something to do with Bubbleberry being a bit of a disappointment.

I wonder if they'll come out with any others in the line.

Now I'm not going to bother going over the calorie intake as well as portions because we already know it's really not healthy for you and that portions are frakkin ridiculous when it comes to things like this. I'm surprised it doesn't say you've consumed so many calories by just holding the damn can.

But is that gonna make us stop drinking the damn things? Probably not.

Would I ever try this again? I would, and I have. Bubbleberry? Probably not.

http://rockstarenergy.com/
http://rockstarenergy.com/products/supersours-bubbleberry
http://rockstarenergy.com/products/super-sours-green-apple

ROCKSTAR, INC.
Las Vegas, NV 89109 USA

Doritos JACKED: Ranch Dipped Hot Wings

Hey there! Long time no try something new.

So here I am.

While at work today, I had a hankering for a large soda. At the start of my lunch, I headed over to a nearby 7-Eleven to grab a Gulp of the Super variety. Feeling a little drowsy, I also grabbed a couple Rockstars (which I'm not sure why I even get those since I'm not sure they do anything for me.

When driving? Yeah.

When just sitting? Less likely.

I had spotted a few new Doritos flavors so on my way back to the register - beverages in hand - I grabbed two bags of chips.

First up? ranch dipped hot wings. (looks at bag) Oh wait. I mean RANCH DIPPED HOT WINGS!

I'm still trying to learn how to eat hotter (as in spicier) things, but it's a slow process for me. I'm still a noob, but the desire is there. I see stuff and think "That looks tasty." Then I see jalapenos or chilis or whatever and get all kinds of "oh gawd, that's gonna melt my mouth and make me poop liquid fire for days".

So here I sit... an open bag of Doritos before me... and trying some chips that are like the regular size Doritos on steroids.

I've eaten a few so far, and yeah... not too terribly impressed. I mean, I'm dealing with powerloss at the moment (time of the month to start soon though the PMS salty cravings have begun early as usual). They're tasted, but I'm not getting JACKED as the wordage on the bag proclaims. I can't really taste the ranch much although there is something there with the hot wingy-ness. It's not bad... just not anything special.

I'm not gonna bother anymore with the calories and all that since it's frakkin DORITOS!

And did you know Doritos contains milk ingredients. Really? Not MILK... but MILK INGREDIENTS.

And the part that makes me giggle a little? The "Guaranteed Fresh" notation that says if it's not fresh by the freshness date on the pack... "this snack's on us". Questions or Comments? 1-800-352-4477 - Weekdays 
9:00am to 4:30pm, Central Time. Please provide product name, bag size, date, price and numbers found below price for each package.

Seriously. The bag was like a buck something. Who the frak is gonna call with all that information to say their snack sucked and they want their (looks at bag) $1.49 back.

*rollseyes*

Would I ever try this again? Yeah. Why not? I don't think I'm ever gonna be overcome with a need to sate this craving NOW kind of feeling, but if it's all they have left in a mini-mart as I scavenge for snacks during a zombie apocalypse? I wouldn't say no.

FRITO-LAY, INC.
Plano, TX 75024-4099
http://www.fritolay.com/
http://www.fritolay.com/our-snacks/doritos-jacked-ranch-dipped-hot-wings.html

Cofresh Hummus Chips - Creamy Dill

In planning my travels for the holidays, I had plotted that I wanted to leave straight from work (I get out at 8pm this Wednesday), and head to Fresno to see my family with as minimal amounts of stops as possible. I knew that I wanted to stop at the nearby 7-Eleven for a beverage for my 3-hour nighttime excursion, but I thought I could easily head to the store and gather some snacks for the road beforehand.

While running a quick errand before work today, I made the mistake of straying from my goal of looking for one thing (which was in no way food-related) and perused the store ending up in the snack aisle. I found a few goodies, one of which were these hummus chips.

I like hummus! So I bought some to try.

Now COFRESH is a company I have never heard of before, but hey... that's not to say they won't be good. A lot of lesser known brands as well as generic versions of things are just as tasty if not better than the original.

Anyone try the Kirkland products from Costco? Then you know what I mean.

Anyway... now here I sit at work on my lunch break (which I usually spend working on my story blogs), trying my hummus chips and writing about them.

Right away the bag is not so big which is all right by me. It's a nice and compact 4.7oz which is easy for snacking as well as sharing. The image ON the bag is pretty much what you get IN the bag. They remind me of some weird love child of a Frito Scoop and a Bugle.

The front of the bag also boasts this treat has 30% less fat than regular potato chips (fat reduced from 10g tp 7g per serving... someone want to tell me what that means/)

The bottom of the bag says these chips are gluten free with no artificial colors or flavors and also have no artificial preservatives.

So this makes me curious about the ingredients.

Flipping the bag over I see the following: Chickpea Flour, Potato Starch, Vegetable Oil (Rapeseed), Corn Flour, Creamy Dill Flavor (Whey Powder, Salt, Dextrose, Onion Powder, Rice Flour, Sugar, Flavor Enhancer (Monosodium Glutamate), Lactose, Cheese Powder, Yeast Extract Powder, Natural Flavorings, Acidity Regulator (Sodium Diacetate), Herbs (Parsley, Dill).

Ahhh, good ol' MSG. Recently hung out with friends, and they were talking about how MSG makes things taste so much better. I have stuff without it, and it tastes just as good so I have no idea what they're talking about.

Then there are other things that I wonder about (like "rapeseed"?), but overall, it looks - for all intents and purposes - normal and digestable.

Also on the back it gives "Allergy Advice" saying that this product is made in a factory that handles milk/dairy products, nuts, sesame seeds and wheat and may contain trace allergens. Contains Milk & Dairy products. When reading that (as well as typing it out), it made me think of those drug commercials that are supposed to make you better, but then they start listing the side effects, and the list seems to go on forever and ever. This allergy list didn't run as long, but it was more than I was used to seeing on a food item.

Pop open the bag. Stick a chip in my mouth. CRUNCH!!!

We have taste success.

This snack (could be because I'm currently PMS'ing) is nicely salted and not overly so. The consistency of the chips makes me think of Munchos since they're so puffy and light. You can also taste the dill which is subtle which is great since some chip-like snacks can have a lot of flavor that - while flavor is good - sometimes can overpower your tastebuds.

Would I ever try this again? Maybe. It's a brand that I haven't come across frequently enough, and it's not so mind-blowing great that I would ever seek it out. As a "new thing", it was a nice experience and apparently a healthy one.

http://www.cofresh.co.uk/creamy-dill-hummus-chips

Cofresh Snack Foods
Cofresh House, Lewisher Road
Leicester, LE4 9LR, United Kingdom
Tel: 44 (0) 116 246 4101
Email: sales@cofresh.co.uk
Website: www.cofresh.co.uk

Angie's Kettle Corn

my bag was the new yellow design

Popcorn.

It's an evil treat. It tastes so good, you gobble it up, and it's gone before you know it.

I grew up on regular popcorn - either popped by my parents or stock sold at the movies. We had a popcorn maker that we occasionally brought out, but then my favorite was always the Jiffy Pop - the little foiled pie tin with a handle that you would cook over the open flame of the stove.

I love watching that thing pop into a giant ball and then when you ripped it open, all the steam would come out. So hot, fresh and tasty.

(There's a joke in there somewhere.)

Then of course there were the variations of popcorn: Fiddle Faddle, Crunch & Munch, and (of course) Cracker Jack. Sweet and salty... and sometimes you got a prize!

In elementary school on game days, I'd occasionally buy a rectangular block of pink popcorn. On some holidays, I'd receive a nice popcorn ball as a treat.

And then the evolution of popcorn delivered unto me one of my best friends and vilest of addictions: kettle corn.

I believe I first experienced kettle corn during my fair days. My mind immediately conjures up a dude in an apron behind a giant black cauldron-looking thing (I could totally be wrong on this). And all he'd do all day at faire was make kettle corn.

I think I shared some with a friend and after they let me snack on some, I was immediately hooked and wanted my own bag.

The fresher, the better.

So since renaissance faires aren't all day, every day, the only time I could buy tasty goodness from the vendor was weekends when faire was going on, and I was able to make it.

Then kettle corn became a thing and everyone was making and selling. At the time, all I came across were microwaveable kettle corn, and let's just say... no.

Keeping an open mind, I tried various kinds /brands of kettle corn, but nothing measured up to the sweet treats of renaissance faires. Nothing tasted as good.

Until now.

Can we say "snazzy logo"?

Recently I attended a Halloween party, and toward the end of the evening when a handful of us were left, I began cleaning up a bit. Like last year, there were lots of snacks that the hosts were trying to send home with people. I think I got cookies, chips and Wheat Thins.

This year? I got a bag of kettle corn.

I was starting to PMS. I thought it'd be something to nosh on during my "gimme salty" food cravings and while watching shows on Hulu.

I didn't notice until later (I think I had finally made it home) that it was kettle corn. It was also a brand I had never tried before (Angie's), so I thought, "Why not? I can try it and write about it."

Now in taking time away from devouring the bag to actually look at the bag, I see that the ingredients include: popcorn, sunflower oil, evaporated cane juice, and sea salt.

The serving size is two cups which gives seven servings per 7oz bag... and seeing as I was given the rest of the open bag (which was maybe 2/3 full)... I ate a lot of servings (each serving being 140 calories).

The bag of the bag states this is "goodness you'll love" since it's...

• all natural
• no artificial anything
• cholesterol free
• who grain
• no high-fructose corn syrup
• vegan
• no trans fat
• kosher
• certified gluten-free
• non-gmo project verified

Now... aside from that last one, that all sounds healthy, right? (But wait, there's more.)

May contain the following: Delight = 25,000mhz, snack satisfaction = 39 ROI, flavor density = 1700 G/CM, happiness = 1.21 gigawatts.

That last one was a Back to the Future reference, dammit, and one of my favorites, so how can you NOT love this snack already?

Furthermore, it's just... AWESOME! It reads healthy, and it doesn't taste like society assumes healthy food tastes like (which is crap). 

When you get a moment, you should read their story which is posted on their website. 

Would I ever try this again?: Does a bear shit in the woods? LOL! But seriously, yes, I would. In fact, I want to know where the person who brought this stuff bought it. Most likely Whole Foods or some such.

(And while writing this post, I finished the last of the kettle corn. And there was much weeping and sadness.)

Angie's Artisan Treats, LLC
1918 Lookout Drive

N. Mankato, MN 56003
1-888-982-4984

http://angiespopcorn.com/

Blue Diamond Almonds: Toasted Coconut

Nuts! A good source of protein.

After work yesterday, I ran a few errands hitting Wal-Mart and then Target.

While at Target (which was just a window shopping "I wonder if they have this thing I'm looking for since Wal-Mart didn't have it" kind of thing), I perused the snack aisle thinking even though I was tired, I'd come home, watch some Hulu and nosh on something while finally seeing the Arrow pilot.

Not bad. I was quite pleased.

Also being behind on my updates, I thought I might find something to write about here. As luck would have it, something caught my eye.

Behold! Toasted coconut almonds!

Now, I love me some nuts just as much as the next girl - (go ahead... make the joke... I set it up that way on purpose...) - but coconut?

I love coconut. While looking at the can, I debated on picking it up and not another flavor that I know I would love (like the wasabi/soy sauce... AWWW YEAH!), but I figured Hey... why not? 

I just couldn't wrap my head around how they could incorporate coconut flavor with almonds. The sweet with the salty has already been established as a success, but this was just something I couldn't imagine correctly.

Maybe it also had to do with the fact that I was really tired leaving my creative, imaginative quotient to almost nil.

So here I go today cracking open the little canister of nuts hoping for the best.

Their flavor is odd. You can definitely taste the coconut though it's not overpowering which is a good thing. It's subtle though obviously there and quite tasty.

Scanning over the nutritional facts, I see a lot of words that I would never use in regular conversation (whether talking to someone else or just myself), so I won't even bother telling you if this is good for you or not. You can judge for yourself. (Just remember - snack in moderation.)

But the thing that I think is funny (or at least made me mentally chuckle a bit), is at the end of the ingredients, it specifically says in CAPS and italics (so you know they mean it)...

PEANUT FREE. MAY CONTAIN OTHER TREE NUTS.

Okay, so when I grab a container of almonds, I don't even think "I hope there are some peanuts in here" and then after reading the fine print getting all kinds of bummed, then flip a table on a baby seal in the middle of the street and yell, "I want my peanutty almonds. I want my money back."

You know what I mean.

And what's this "other tree nuts" crap? When I think of tree nuts, I think of a movie where I saw a whole mess of monkeys in a tree... and you know how sharing they are of their privates.

But really. Is this a problem? Can nut companies not keep their nuts separate? I mean, I've eaten fast food before and found a stray French fry at the bottom of my onion rings, but that's a little different. Unless Blue Diamond is branching out or dealing with other nuts, why would their be other nuts with my almonds?

And right here on the side. It says "From the Almond People". Why would you call yourselves "the Almond People" if you're going to possibly have other nuts in your product?

WAY too many nut jokes.

Would I ever try this again?  While tasty in that weird kind of way, I have to admit that this flavor is not my favorite. If at a party, and they were in a dish of a table of snacks, I might eat a few, but I don't think I'll be getting them again on my own any time soon.

Blue Diamond Growers
Sacramento, CA 95812
USA

http://bluediamond.com/

Hotlix Crick-ettes (Bacon & Cheese)

Needed more bacon and cheese, less cricket

I had no idea what I was going to write about this month. I hadn't really tried anything new, and in all honesty searching for something to write about was the last thing on my mind, but when I had updated all my other story blogs for August, I was left with this one.

While hanging out with Kathy W at her house tonight, we were talking about writing and stories, and I made the comment that I was almost caught up with my updates for the month and had one left (this one). After thinking for a bit, she popped up off the couch, disappeared, and returned tossing a small box at me over the coffee table.

The box? Bacon and cheese crickets.

Now in all honesty, my first reaction was HELL NO! - but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the box, staring at the little critters wrapped in cellophane. I kept turning the box this way and that watching them slide around. Some had wings. Some were missing limbs. All of them looked like crickets.

There was a voice in my head that just said, "Okay, let's do this," but I couldn't bring the rest of me to completely trust that voice and follow along. Still, I stared at the package.

Kathy explained that she had (as did all of her family members) received this as a present in her Christmas stocking last year (which would only make it almost nine months old). Do bug snacks like this have a shelf-life? There was no expiration date on the box or the cellophane. What does that say about the treats inside?

Probably: Try at your own risk.

On the "I'll try anything scale" of life, Kathy has way more experience and way more daring than me, and I kind of hate that. I mean, I love trying new stuff, going new places, but eating bugs? I thought my hesitation odd since several years ago while at an Asian candy shop buying dried salty plums, I saw as one of the impulse items by the register a small plastic container of dried baby crabs, and I just grabbed one, shoving it forward with the rest of my purchase. The bodies of the tiny crabs were the size of a dime and were slightly seasoned.

The crickets were smaller though prepared seemingly in the same way, and claimed to taste like bacon and cheese (two of my favorite things).

At first I just kept looking at the box. Then as Kathy prodded me to try one, I said I would try one on two conditions: if I could have one with no wings or appendages, AND if Geoff T did one with us. I followed her into Geoff's room where she explained the situation and after staring at the box for a few minutes, he said no. Then after much giggling, we left his room and headed back into the living room... where I continued to stare at the box.

The voice in my head grew louder and more convincing, taking more and more control over the rest of me, and I finally conceded. Kathy ripped the limbs and wings off of one and handed it to me. With my boozey beverage at the ready to wash out any possible ick left behind from this experiment, we toasted our respective bugs and ate.

Praytell, what did I think of them?

BACON AND CHEESE, MY ASS!!!

So the cricket was crunchy. You can even hear it on the audioboo I posted, and I wasn't even that close to my iPhone. But aside from the impressive crunch, that was it. The flavoring promised on the package did not deliver in any of the crickets I ate (which after the initial one, I was fine eating them. Kathy and I pretty much split our shares down the middle, me getting a little more in the end.) I tasted maybe a tiny breath of bacon, but not enough to make a difference. Also they were just big puffs of crunchy air.

When I ate the dried baby crabs, the only crunch came from the shell since the insides during the whole process of drying them out turned their insides pretty much to dust (much like the crickets) - but they tasted better. I didn't need handfuls to get a good taste or to be satisfied. They were just tasty, salty goodness.

I have a feeling the other two flavors are just as (un)impressive.

The crickets tasted like flimsy sunflower seed shells and quickly lost any flavor they had (which pretty much was none).

The packaging was entertaining though so I'll tell you about that.

The snack had a Net Wt of 1.4g. Skipping the ingredients entirely, the nutritional facts make me chuckle stating a serving size is 1.4g (a whole box), and that the serving per container was... you guessed it... 1. Nine calories per serving/box. (So Kathy and I had about 3.5 calories each.)

Toward the bottom of the nutritional facts in small print, it says "Not a significant source of cholesterol, dietary fiber, sugars, Vitamin A, Vitamin C, calcium, and iron." (Really, Sherlock?)

My favorite part about the box was the cricket illustration below... which I will just let speak for itself.

Good for a chuckle, eh?

Would I ever try this again?  Meh, I dunno. I mean, maybe sitting around for almost nine months contributed to the lack of flavor. Maybe not. All I know is that it sure didn't leave a lasting first impression on me as well as any desire to seek out either of the other two flavors. (I am curious about their non-insect candy selection though.) Still... I think it's the most interesting thing I've tried and written about on this blog. That should count for something, right? (Yeah. Thought not.)

Hotlix
PO Box 447
Grover Beach, CA 93483
1-800-EAT-WORM (328-9676)
info@hotlix.com


http://www.hotlix.com/insect_candy/crickettes.html
http://www.hotlix.com/index.html
http://www.hotlix.com/non-insect_candy/non-insect_candy.html

Hello Kitty Spumante

"Kitty Juice" made in Italy

When I found out my friend Alithea S was coming to town for a visit (her birthday is August 10th y'all, just so ya know!), I was happy.  Then Kathy W told me that she was going to snag her from SFO, and we'd get her for Dusty's World.  Another happy thought.  I met Kathy at her place and from there we headed to the airport to grab Alithea. 

We parked and waited for her at the gate as people were arriving.  Eventually she walks up with her purse and what could be construed as a souvenir bag.  Hugs are exchanged, and she then explains she had to make a pit stop, and we find out the bag is filled with Hello Kitty wine.

Oh yes.  Hello Kitty wine. 

I've seen Hello Kitty airsoft guns (of which I want one) and Hello Kitty sex toys (of which I want one purely for novelty sake cuz come on... doesn't every Asian chic need a Hello Kitty sex toy? LOL!), but now there's wine -  an awesome thing I can totally get behind and want to partake in.

So we made it back to Kathy's, and I thought she was saving the wine for some other occasion, but she told me to bring it in, and the spumante was chilled.  We snacked, chatted, drank, listened to the show, and helped take care of Geoff T (who had laser eye surgery that day and was not supposed to open his eyes for something like 12 hours... in fact, per his doctor's encouragement, we were plying him with booze and anything else we had in our arsenal to get him to rest/sleep to promote not opening his eyes... I think we succeeded).

This is pic I took of the bottle.

I think it was sometime after the show was over that we poured out the "kitty juice" and doled it out to almost everyone (save maybe Geoff who might have been laying down in his room at this point).

Let me state right off the bat that I am mainly a red wine and dessert wine drinker, but I will go to tastings and try any wine you place before me. 

With that said, this wine was dry and crisp, and according to Kathy the "dry" warning was on the back of the bottle instead of the front where she's used to it being.

Ohhh, and there are DRINK RECIPES per the website I found!!!


Would I ever try this again? It was tasty but not a favorite.  Still if I was out with the girls and all we had was spumante, I'd toast and imbibe with the rest of them.  Also curious about the other wines.  And come on... it's frakkin HELLO KITTY!!!

http://winefromtheboot.com/hello_kitty_wines_spumante.php
http://winefromtheboot.com/hello_kitty_wines.php

Jalapeno Microwave Popcorn

Ahhh, there's a happy fellow, huh?

So when you go to your Girlfriend's house, and she asks you if you want to experiment, what's the worst that could happen?

One Thursday last month I went to my friend Kathy W's house for our weekly dose of Dusty's World, and as we got our beers for the toast at the beginning of the show, my "Girlfriend" (aka Kathy W) asked me if I wanted to experiment.  After the millions of jokes recited themselves in my mind, I told her I was game, and she disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a package.

A popcorn package.

Jalapeno Microwave Popcorn.  Batch #37.

She had received it as a stocking stuffer or something and hadn't tried it yet.  (She loves to share experiments.)

So let me break down my inspection of the package before she unwrapped it and nuked it.

On the cover of the bag was an image of a man who looked like he was screaming his head off.  On the side of the bag by his face it says "Pain is good."  On the other side of his face is a "pain gauge" which marks the popcorn we were about to munch on as medium (between mild and hot).  This delicious treat also has a net weight of 3.25 oz (91 g) and is made in the good ol' U S of A.

And for those virgin popcorn poppers out there, take heed the print that states:

Caution: when opening; hot steam.

From the package...

"Not just another pretty face and not just another jalapeno popcorn.  You're going to scream with delight, bite after bite.  Make sure you have your favorite cold drink in hand just in case the Pain is too good!"

That part I found entertaining since I'm the hot wuss when it comes to my friends, and I loved this stuff.  When Kathy poured it into the bowl, it looked to me like salt and pepper popcorn.  Yes, there were occasionally those kernels that had a little more seasoning than others, but overall, it was rather tasty, and I was sad when the bowl was empty.  So PAIN?  The only pain I experienced was when there was no more.

Okay, technical crap... like ingredients: popcorn, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, salt, artificial and natural flavors, color, jalapeno pepper and spices.  (Sounds almost 100% healthy for ya, right?)

Serving size is 3.5 cups (or 32 g for those that count things like that) making servings per container (um, don't you mean bag?... though I guess a bag is a container since it contained the kernels... anyway, I'm babbling... wait, where was I?... oh yeah) 3.  To serving sizes all over, I laugh in your general direction as I give you the finger.  But seriously... when you make a big bowl of popcorn, you're just sharing the joy?

And by joy, I really mean the 160 calories.  

Would I ever try this again?  Sure.  It's a tasty treat that I wouldn't turn down.  (Also on the website, there's a treat called "Cheesecake in a Jar" that comes in traditional and chocolate flavors that I want to try.  No it's not spicy, but damn... sounds so yummy. 

Manufactured for and Distributed by:
Original Juan Specialty Foods
647 Southwest Blvd
Kansas City, KS 66103
1-866-568-8468
http://www.originaljuan.com/