Hotlix Crick-ettes (Bacon & Cheese)

Needed more bacon and cheese, less cricket

I had no idea what I was going to write about this month. I hadn't really tried anything new, and in all honesty searching for something to write about was the last thing on my mind, but when I had updated all my other story blogs for August, I was left with this one.

While hanging out with Kathy W at her house tonight, we were talking about writing and stories, and I made the comment that I was almost caught up with my updates for the month and had one left (this one). After thinking for a bit, she popped up off the couch, disappeared, and returned tossing a small box at me over the coffee table.

The box? Bacon and cheese crickets.

Now in all honesty, my first reaction was HELL NO! - but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the box, staring at the little critters wrapped in cellophane. I kept turning the box this way and that watching them slide around. Some had wings. Some were missing limbs. All of them looked like crickets.

There was a voice in my head that just said, "Okay, let's do this," but I couldn't bring the rest of me to completely trust that voice and follow along. Still, I stared at the package.

Kathy explained that she had (as did all of her family members) received this as a present in her Christmas stocking last year (which would only make it almost nine months old). Do bug snacks like this have a shelf-life? There was no expiration date on the box or the cellophane. What does that say about the treats inside?

Probably: Try at your own risk.

On the "I'll try anything scale" of life, Kathy has way more experience and way more daring than me, and I kind of hate that. I mean, I love trying new stuff, going new places, but eating bugs? I thought my hesitation odd since several years ago while at an Asian candy shop buying dried salty plums, I saw as one of the impulse items by the register a small plastic container of dried baby crabs, and I just grabbed one, shoving it forward with the rest of my purchase. The bodies of the tiny crabs were the size of a dime and were slightly seasoned.

The crickets were smaller though prepared seemingly in the same way, and claimed to taste like bacon and cheese (two of my favorite things).

At first I just kept looking at the box. Then as Kathy prodded me to try one, I said I would try one on two conditions: if I could have one with no wings or appendages, AND if Geoff T did one with us. I followed her into Geoff's room where she explained the situation and after staring at the box for a few minutes, he said no. Then after much giggling, we left his room and headed back into the living room... where I continued to stare at the box.

The voice in my head grew louder and more convincing, taking more and more control over the rest of me, and I finally conceded. Kathy ripped the limbs and wings off of one and handed it to me. With my boozey beverage at the ready to wash out any possible ick left behind from this experiment, we toasted our respective bugs and ate.

Praytell, what did I think of them?

BACON AND CHEESE, MY ASS!!!

So the cricket was crunchy. You can even hear it on the audioboo I posted, and I wasn't even that close to my iPhone. But aside from the impressive crunch, that was it. The flavoring promised on the package did not deliver in any of the crickets I ate (which after the initial one, I was fine eating them. Kathy and I pretty much split our shares down the middle, me getting a little more in the end.) I tasted maybe a tiny breath of bacon, but not enough to make a difference. Also they were just big puffs of crunchy air.

When I ate the dried baby crabs, the only crunch came from the shell since the insides during the whole process of drying them out turned their insides pretty much to dust (much like the crickets) - but they tasted better. I didn't need handfuls to get a good taste or to be satisfied. They were just tasty, salty goodness.

I have a feeling the other two flavors are just as (un)impressive.

The crickets tasted like flimsy sunflower seed shells and quickly lost any flavor they had (which pretty much was none).

The packaging was entertaining though so I'll tell you about that.

The snack had a Net Wt of 1.4g. Skipping the ingredients entirely, the nutritional facts make me chuckle stating a serving size is 1.4g (a whole box), and that the serving per container was... you guessed it... 1. Nine calories per serving/box. (So Kathy and I had about 3.5 calories each.)

Toward the bottom of the nutritional facts in small print, it says "Not a significant source of cholesterol, dietary fiber, sugars, Vitamin A, Vitamin C, calcium, and iron." (Really, Sherlock?)

My favorite part about the box was the cricket illustration below... which I will just let speak for itself.

Good for a chuckle, eh?

Would I ever try this again?  Meh, I dunno. I mean, maybe sitting around for almost nine months contributed to the lack of flavor. Maybe not. All I know is that it sure didn't leave a lasting first impression on me as well as any desire to seek out either of the other two flavors. (I am curious about their non-insect candy selection though.) Still... I think it's the most interesting thing I've tried and written about on this blog. That should count for something, right? (Yeah. Thought not.)

Hotlix
PO Box 447
Grover Beach, CA 93483
1-800-EAT-WORM (328-9676)
info@hotlix.com


http://www.hotlix.com/insect_candy/crickettes.html
http://www.hotlix.com/index.html
http://www.hotlix.com/non-insect_candy/non-insect_candy.html