Chewy Extinguisher Sour Citrus Candy

They all look like they're in various stages of anal distress

I'm always on the lookout for sour candies that'll make me happy.  Ever since the candy shop in the mall that I would go to and get my sour gummy goodness before catching a flick at the theatre closed, I have been a regular visitor to Sadsville.

Now, that's not to say I can't get my sour gummies elsewhere... but this place had such a wide variety of flavors, it was awesome.

And no... Sour Patch Kids DO NOT do it for me.  (They just don't taste right.)

So unable to depend solely on my sour gummies anymore, I have been on the lookout for other sour yummy candies.

What I'm looking for is not something that'll make my mouth pucker more than a cat's anus.  I'm merely looking for something that is sour in an "oh yeah... that's sour" kind of way while still being able to look at people without appearing as if a parade of Smurfs has just exited my keester.

You're welcome for the visual.

While at the new candy store near my house, the dude working there saw me walking around and asked if he could help me with anything.  So... I asked him what he had in the way of sour candies.

One of which he drew me to were the "extinguisher" candies.

I have seen these candies before, but something about them kept turning me away.  They didn't seem like they'd make me happy, but after years of saying no... upon the employees suggestion, I decided to give them a go.

Never again.

This tiny little box has a tray of colored candies inside that correspond with the lovely cover.  If the cover is to be believed, orange (tangerine) is the mildest at 'tangy' followed by yellow (lemon) as 'sour' with green (lime) being 'super sour'.  Now the premise of this candy is that you can eat whichever sour bad boy you choose, but if you need a breather, you can get 'sweet relief' by popping one of the (berry) blue ones.

I don't know if it was the sour powder or what, but they all had this aftertaste (maybe the blue ones not so much) just like how most energy drinks have a caffeine aftertaste.

Only this was worse.

I could taste what they were trying to pass off as 'sour', but it was more like off-candy flavor... and that lasted shorter than a finger snap.  While doing whatever would be classified as the opposite of enjoying this candy, I read the box which made me laugh.

Aside from the faces of the candy on the front of the box that, I suppose, is supposed to convey how sour they're flavor is, it asks the question, "How sour can you take it?"  My answer to that would be, "More than you can give apparently."

Then on the back there's a diagram starting with tangy tangerine with an arrow pointing to sour lemon with another arrow pointing to super sour lime then a final arrow to the final candy with the caption above it saying "Can you munch through all 3 sour levels without reaching for the Sweet Mixed Berry EXTINGUISHER?"

Yes, you crappy candy.  I can.

I'm not going to bother with serving sizes because it's a ridiculously tiny box, and I think y'all can safely assume this stuff isn't made with the healthiest of ingredients... but I will say (if for some reason you want to try this) the allergy warning are "contains wheat and soy".

Would I ever try this again?  No.  This was yet another candy claiming to be sour but just left me disappointed and grumbly.

American Licorice Company
Consumer Affairs Group
2796 NW Clearwater Drive
Bend, OR 97701
USA

www.extinguishercandy.com*
*the website is listed on the box though it doesn't seem to exist on the interwebs as of this post

Lychee Pocky

let's have some fun
this snack is sick
I wanna take a bite
of your Pocky stick

Okay, so make all the Asian jokes you want, but I love me some Pocky.  And I also love me some lychee.

And for those that have told me that they don't like lychee since it feels like they're eating eyeballs... you're weird.  Eyeballs are delicious!

Seriously though, here we go...

The candy store where I bought the bacon soda (which was a bad idea... DO NOT DRINK THAT!... unless you find a way to make a delicious alcoholic beverage, then please... let me know) was selling various types of Pocky.

What is Pocky?

Well, essentially it's a tiny breadstick covered in stuff rather it be chocolate or a yogurty fruit topping or nuts.

It's sweet and a little salty and makes me with they were the size of breadsticks from Olive Garden since they're just so damn yummy.

I bought them just before going out of town and visiting my family, and my brother and his wife are selective in what they let their daughter (my love four-year-old niece) eat.

The rule is basically: if you can't pronounce it or know what the frak it is, don't eat it.

So here are the ingredients:  wheat flour, sugar, palm oil, milk powder, lychee flakes, margarine, skim milk powder, cocoa powder, lychee flavoring.

And then there's the allergy advice of: contains wheat and milk.

So I asked my brother if I could share some with my niece (being respective of a kid's parents and all), and he said sure, but he wasn't sure she'd like it.  So while playing with puzzles, I offered her one, and she loved them.  She was so cute... asking me for mas Pocky.  (I loves her to pieces!)

The box was a whole whopping 37g and guess what?  That is also the serving size.  Woo hoo!!!  I can actually see an entire box of yogurt-covered pretzel sticks being a serving as opposed to a small bag of M&M's having 3 pieces be a serving.

In any case, Pocky is yumscious, and I've never been disappointed by any of their flavors.  I mean, it's a simple premise... like the chocolate-dipped soft serve cone. 

Now if they start going the way of Harry Potter Bernie Bott's Beans... *shrug*


Would I ever try this again?  Yup!  I liked it a lot.  It's a nice snack while watching a movie or reading or while writing.  (But aside from saying how tasty it is, I have to say when I looked them up online, their website made me giggle.  So check it out.  The music and outfits.  *grin*)

Imported by:
CTC FOOD INTERNATIONAL INC.
131 West Harris Ave. So.
San Francisco, CA 94080
USA

http://pocky.jp/

Nem Heo (from Lee's Sandwiches)

Yum yum food place!

Tonight I was at a a loss for dinner ideas so like I occasionally do, I texted several friends for suggestions.

One friend suggested Taco Bell which I'd only been to once since they added their breakfast menu.  Another friend suggested KFC.  Then as my tastebuds leaned toward a taco salad of some sort, a friend suggested a Vietnamese sandwich.  When I texted her back with a "Where am I supposed to get one of those?", she reminded me of a food place called Lee's Sandwiches.  I hadn't been there in a while so I started to think... Yeah... a sandwich would be good.

Thanks to my handy-dandy iPhone, I found the closest location and headed on over.  I got the BBQ sandwich on baguette (a #6, I think) which was yummy tasty as well as a pork meatball skewer from the hot case.  While waiting for my order (which included an iced coffee), I went over to the cold case to check some stuff out and found some pre-packaged items next to the cans and bottles of drinks.

The item up for discussion?: Nem Heo

Little pork rolls of joy!!!

They had ones that looked like the picture to the left or like little squares.  I chose the rolls since they were more aesthetically pleasing to me.

According to the tag/label, it said the ingredients were: pork skin, nam seasoning (sugar salt), garlic, pepper.

There were no "cooking instructions" so I've been eating them as is.

OMFG!!!  They are good!!!  But let me warn you right off the bat, they're a little spicy.  I'm assuming the big white bits in the picture I took are the garlic (yay garlic!) and of course the meat stuff is the pork (yay pork!), but when they say pepper, they mean peppercorns which make the rolls just a tad bit spicy... at least for me.  I prefer my peppercorns ground.

I popped the first roll in my mouth and was happy but then tasted the spice and lived (thanks for caring... now you can go along with your day).  The next roll, I took a bite and looked inside and saw some little seeds which leads me to think they're jalapeno seeds...or bell pepper seeds.  In either case, they might have just accidentally gotten into the batch of eight I bought so no harm, no foul.

Though whole peppercorns???  Whole?  Really?

But damn, the rolls are good.

When looking up "nem heo" on the internet, I came up with "nem" meaning "eggroll" and "heo" meaning "pork"?  At least that's the best I came up with.  One post online I found with something that looked similar to what I ate referred to it as "pickled pork" which I can taste so that sounds like an adequate description.

In all the stuff I found online, there wasn't a listing for just "nem heo" though there were listings for things with those two words in the name for the food which resembled what I ate so I'm assuming it's more of a general term like adobo in Filipino food that I've had.  (A friend of mine had sworn that if he was on Death Row, he wanted his final meal to be my mom's adobo, and I had to ask him - since I'm nice - which adobo he meant since there's chicken, beef, pork, squid...)

my friend: (making a face hearing my other adobo options) What's the kind your mom makes?
me: Chicken.
my friend: (hurriedly) Yeah.  Chicken.  That's the one I want.  Chicken.

It pays to be specific.  *grin*

And to comment on the rest of my meal, the BBQ pork sandwich was great and hit the spot as did the pork meatballs and the iced coffee was yummers!!!

Would I try it again? Yuppers!  They were quite tasty.  Now I'm wondering what else they have.  Also wondering where else I can find nem heo aside from Lee's.  

http://leesandwiches.com/2008/

Lester's Fixins Bacon Soda

Do you really think I'm a
good idea?

So far I haven't met a bacon... anything... that I didn't like in some way or another.

Bacon wrapped water chestnuts. 

Bacon shrimp.

Bacon salt.  (Amazingly good on pancakes.)

Bacon chocolate. 

Bacon shake.  (Oh yeah.  I'm sure it existed before me, but I made Denny's during their Baconalia phase take the bacon maple sundae they were offering, add more bacon and blend it.  Damn that was some good clogged artery fun, let me tell you!)

The bacon toothpicks were not so great but aside from not tasting anything like bacon, they at least served a purpose with... ya know... being toothpicks.

And this is what happened to the bacon soda.

Rocket Fizz Soda Pop & Candy Shop opened up recently near where I live.  They sell various candies and sugary treats.  When looking at their website, one of the first things I noticed were the sodas.  Being a fan of Jones Soda, I smiled at flavors such as Blue Cream and Watermelon, but when I saw the word "bacon", my grin got wider, and I decided that this place was some place I needed to check out.

So I bought four sodas that night (Valentine's Day Eve), and brought them home - immediately popping open the bacon one.  Now the dude at the shop said it tasted like cooked crisp bacon as well as smelled like bacon.

I need to have a chat with that dude's taste buds.

Lester! Why couldn't you make it
taste better? Damn you!

My original intention for this post was to write as I enjoyed the beverage and write about it.  I got busy looking up stuff about the soda, trying to find pics, etc, so I tasted without posting.

I first smelled the cap which smelled like... well... a metal bottle cap.  Then placing my nose over the open bottle, I inhaled deeply and smelled... something that did not smell like bacon to me.  I can't really describe what it smelled like, but I'm pretty sure it could be used to thin paint or make hydrochloric acid scream bloody murder.

Okay, perhaps that was an exaggeration, but no... it did NOT smell of bacon.  (Strike one to the dude at the shop.)

I then tipped the bottle to my lips (I may have even said a silent prayer of some kind), took a gulp and swallowed.

And then I made a bad face.

Now it's not like I shook a baby that just ate and tilted its mouth toward mine and waited.

No... it was still bad in any case.

Amazing how carbonated water, sugar, citric acid, sodium benzoate (preservative), caramel color, natural color and red 40 can make your mouth ask you the question "Don't you love me anymore?" followed by "What did I do?"

There's not much in the way of nutritional facts since the label looks more comedic than informative.  In tiny print on the side, it says the serving size is 12 oz (which means one good thing - that I was drinking for one again).  The bottle of bacon icky soda is 170 calories and (this makes me giggle a little) "not a significant source of calories from fat, saturated fat, cholesterol, dietary fiber, Vitamin A and C, Calcium and Iron".

Really?  Who in their right mind is going to a GNC and asking for this stuff? 

Joe Moron: Excuse me.  I'm feeling a little plugged up.  Do you have any Bacon Soda?  I hear it's a good source of dietary fiber!

Now here's the thing.  I voluntarily bought this drink, and knowing they all can't be winners, I will finish the damn thing.  In all honesty, I drank about half or a little more than that the night I bought it, and I left it on my dresser while I went out running errands and such and have just picked it up again, and I could joke that it got flat and that it tastes better that way, but no. 

It tastes the SAME!!!

I've got about three fingers left in the bottle so if you'll excuse me?

(bottle empty)

"Made in the USA Pure Cane Sugar"... my ASS!!!

Yeccch!

Would I ever try this again?  No.  The flavor alone isn't enough to make me come back screaming for more.  Perhaps if alcohol were added to make it into an interesting cocktail of some kind, perhaps... but no.  Didn't like it enough to drink it solo.

Intellectual property of and bottled by the:
Rocket Fizz Soda Pop and Candy Shops, LLC
PO Box 3663
Camarillo, CA 93011


http://rocketfizz.com/

Restaurant: The Melt

This place has been on my mind for a while, and even though I've only been there once, I totally fell in love with the place and wish it were closer to my house.

A few weeks ago, I took a friend to the airport.  The night before we were hanging out looking for dinner suggestions.  (A group of us were planning a night to play catch-up since we hadn't really seen each other since the holidays).  One of the places we came across was a new establishment whose name alone caught my attention and piqued my curiosity.  When we clicked the link, I got all kinds of happy.

A few years ago, I saw some place featured on the Food Network that served up grilled cheese sandwiches and soup, and I immediately thought that was such an awesome idea and wanted a place like that near me because I am a HUGE fan of grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.

Comfort food FTW!!!

Now I couldn't remember the place I saw on TV to save my life, but I knew it was somewhere in the Midwest or East Coast which made me really sad since it was such a fabulous idea but nowhere near me.

Enter THE MELT!

On the way home from dropping my friend off at the airport, I decided to check the place out.  Plus, I hadn't eaten yet that day (a ROCKSTAR energy drink is not a meal) so I figured I'd be killing two birds with one stone: sating a curiosity as well as my stomach.

The location I went to was at the Stanford Shopping Mall, but it wasn't too difficult to spot seeing the bright orange logo shone like a beacon all the way across the lot.  Parking was difficult since everyone and their uncle seemed to be at the mall that day.  I couldn't find anywhere close to park, but that's okay.  I didn't mind the walk.

Immediately when I walked in, I sensed a friendly atmosphere.  Everywhere I looked I saw friendly faces, heard polite chit-chat and laughter.  It was very happy-making.

While I waited in line, I checked out the menu which is pretty simple.  They have several sandwiches as well as several soups.  They even had a few dessert options.

I had originally wanted the Brie/Apple Butter on White Wheat and was leaning toward either the Two Tomato Basil or the Sweet Corn Tortilla Soup.
Creamy Wild Mushroom), but when it was my turn, I ended up getting the special that was being offered that day: The Dirty with Sweet Corn Tortilla Soup.

What is The Dirty you ask?  Sharp cheddar, jalapenos, tomato, bacon and BBQ chips on sourdough.

I also ended up getting one of the dessert melts - the S'more!

They had fountain drinks (Coke products, in case you were wondering) as well as water, iced tea, lemonade, organic milk, and an assortment of drinks in cans (which I think if I remember correctly while waiting in line was Pabst Blue Ribbon).

When you order, two things happen:

1. They take your initials for your order to call out when it's done.  Or you can just look at the giant electronic board (which looks like a huge iPad) to see the status of your order.  And...
2. They ask if you would like to "round up".  The Round it Up Campaign, if I remember correctly, is when you pay for your order, they ask if you would like to round up to the nearest dollar which pays for your meal, and the extra money goes to Feel Good.  (You should really click the link since I think they can explain it better than I can.)

The price is decent and the food is yummy.  The meal comes with a little bag of plain potato chips, each sandwich in its own little basket.

As I sat at the table and noshed on my yummy yum yum food, I noticed the bottom of the order screens talking about their food, how they offer gluten free breads and everything was natural.

There were also NO trash cans.  Everything was either recyclable or compost.

The food is yum. 

The people were nice.

They say "All Natural", "Eco-Friendly", "Wholesome"... and I believe it. 

Would I go here again?: Hell-to-the-YEAH!  This place just filled me with a whole bunch of happiness, why wouldn't I go back.  Next time though... I plan to drag some friends with me.

https://themelt.com/
https://themelt.com/menu
http://www.facebook.com/TheMelt
http://twitter.com/The_Melt

http://www.facebook.com/pages/FeelGood-Official/
https://twitter.com/#!/feelgoodworld/
http://www.youtube.com/feelgoodworld

Mr. Brown Cappuccino Iced Coffee

I gave blood today.

Before I gave blood, I stopped off at McDonald's for lunch.  (You know... to build up my iron and also to not pass out and all that.)

When I was done, I went to the Blood Center, did the whole survey/test thing.  I sat in the automated mechanical chair (which I joked to the tech that it was like a poor man's Disneyland), and proceeded to be poked until my blood slid through the tube like a person in silk pajamas trying to get traction on a bed with silk sheets.

I stopped off to visit a friend since I was in the area.  (Thought I'd say "hi".)  I had meant to chill at a coffee house to try and do some writing, but alas, I lingered too long, and it was getting dark.  I had laundry at home that needed to be done, and I didn't want to be up too late doing it... though the time-stamp on this post would say otherwise (I'm on the last load as I write this).

Anyway, the tech reminded me of all the things I was supposed to do and not do...

Like not to smoke for at least an hour - which I find funny since I enjoy the occasional cigar once in a blue moon, but when they say that, I immediately want to have one... just out of spite.  Or not to drink alcohol for 24 hours... which just makes me pout, but I cope.  LOL!

They also say no strenuous activity (which always makes me wonder if SEX qualifies in that category)... but to drink fluids and not to skip any meals.

While chatting with friends, I was wondering why I was getting so droopy and slothy, and as I was gathering my things and heading out the door, I realized... I needed to eat!

I stopped off at an Asian market (same place I got the Rockstar Coconut Water) and decided to grab some snacks.  The entire time I was there, I kept yawning so since I had coffee on the brain due to my failed writing plan for the day (no one to blame but myself on that one), I went in search for some kind of coffee substitute to wet my whistle.

What is up with his fingers?

I found some coffee drinks in the cooler section while looking for some bottled apple tea I had before from there (quite tasty).  One of which were these little cans of with an image of a man in a white suit, red tie, hat, enjoying a cup of coffee.  He looks like he's sound like Nintendo's Mario and be pushing a gondola through the canals of Venice all the while chucking his tiny cans of caffeine to various passersby as he sings "That's Amore".

Or something like that.

Have you tried my coffee?

I also think he looks like film producer Joel Silver, but that's just me.

So knowing that I needed to do laundry, I picked up a can of this stuff hoping it would give me just enough of a boost to stay awake until my laundry was done.  As it was I had separated it into three loads, and the washer and dryer in this place are moody bitches that don't seem to like me much.

But that's neither here nor there.

Of the ones the store had, I chose cappuccino and with that, took my other purchases to the register, checked out, and headed home.

I was fine for the most part rejuvenating myself on pork, chicken, vegetables and noodles that I got from the hot case at the store, but then my energy started to wilt some when the first load was in the dryer and the second one had just started washing.

Come here little can... please work some magic.

Now this little baby "ready to drink" can of coffee is just 8.12 fl oz (which according to the nutritional facts on the side is one serving) and is 112.8 calories.

FINALLY!  I'M DRINKING FOR ONE!!!

Ingredients (copied straight from the side of the can):  water, coffee extract, sugar, milk powder, emulsifier (E473, E475, E322), flavor, carrageenan (E407), chocolate.

Now, I get everything in that list (though I'm not touching the weird E-numbers which make me think of high school and college classroom and catalog numbers), but really... what the FRAK is "flavor"?  Is there a bottle labeled "flavor" in the secret coffee lab of this company?

And what's with this statement (which is right above the ingredients): You may occasionally find tiny milk flakes appearing , quality is no problem.  WTFrak is that supposed to mean?  Now I know there's milk powder in it, and there's no instruction like "shake before opening" or some such, but it's more the last part that bothers me.  They could have phrased it better.  MUCH better.  

Anyway...

It tastes all right.  Even though the website thinks claims it's very good! - in my opinion, it's not like "HOLY CRAP!  I NEED TO SHOOT THIS STRAIGHT INTO MY VEINS!"  It's just... okay. 

Would I ever try this again?  Doubtful.  It served its purpose as a "hmmm, I wonder what this is like?" as well as coming the closest to a coffee drink that I could find in the market without having to drag my lazy ass to some coffee establishment nearby.  (Hey!  Lay off!  I gave blood today.  So there!)

All in all, if I was craving a pick me up or something coffee-flavored, I'd either buy some candy or find me the closest Starbucks, Peets or... hell... a McCafe.

http://www.kingcar.com.tw/en/products/ProductList.aspx?cid=10&scid=36

http://www.kingcar.com.tw/en/index.aspx

Product of Taiwan
King Car Food Ind. Co., Ltd.
Taipei, Taiwan
Reg. No. 5448220102

Rockstar Coconut Water

A surprising curious can I see before me.

So a couple weeks ago while I was on my way to my friends' new place to listen to our SoCal friends Dusty, RJ and Sasha's internet radio show Dusty's World, I had stopped off at an Asian market en route for supplies (aka apple juice).

The apple juice was for the rest of the Jager we didn't finish the week before (where we finished off the rest of her sparkling apple cider which we think went flat, but it went well with the Jager so we said "apple juice for next time".)

Shot of Jager, topped off with apple juice.  Pretty frakkin yummy people.  That's all I have to say about that.  (My gal pal Kathy W. fixed up so yumscious credit goes to her.)

While at the market, I decided to peruse the aisles a bit since I hadn't been there in a while, and I like me some Asian markets.

What?!  The Asian likes Asian markets?!  Get outta town!

So of course I checked out the candy aisle where I've bought many a packet of Hi-Chew candy (if you can find lychee flavor, send it my way, thank ya muchly) as well as dried salted plums (great PMS snack) and sesame ball cookies (no need to make that dirty, I can do that myself).

But I couldn't find the apple juice.

Eventually I found the apple juice in the cooler section.  The open coolers that stored things like chicken wings or (from what I saw when I found the juice) whole rabbit.  On platforms above the open coolers were various bottles of tea and juice, but I only saw two or three brands of apple juice, regular sized bottles.  So I asked an employee that was restocking shelves if those were the only sizes he had, and he said yes so I snatched one up and continued to look about.

On the other side from where I found the juice, I found various bottles of coconut water and milk drinks which brought to mind that actress Yvonne Strahovski is the new spokeswoman for SoBe Lifewater with Coconut Water so I thought I'd try to find some and try it out for myself.

Really.  I'm interested only in the drink.  I swear. *grin of innocence*

Unfortunately I was not able to find any SoBe Lifewater with Coconut Water.

But I did find this bright blue can that had a familiar logo on it and made my curiosity say "Go there!  I want to see what the pretty blue is."

Rockstar Coconut Water.

Color me intrigued.

I just grabbed the can and walked off looking for other interesting things that caught my fancy before heading to the register.

It wasn't until the next day when I was on my way to meet Kathy W. back at her place to take her to the airport (she was visiting out-of-state family for the weekend) that I cracked this baby blue bad boy open.

Now the can said to "shake gently" so I tipped it from side to side before opening it.  The can said it was a non-carbonated coconut water energy drink made with 10% coconut juice so in theory I could have shaken the hell out of it, but I played it safe and stuck with the can's suggestion of "gently".

Below the ROCKSTAR COCONUT WATER, it said "Energy + Hydration" as well as "+Electrolytes" and "+High Caffeine".  The top of the can said "caffeine, B-vitamins, taurine, ginseng and milk thistle".  Now I don't remember milk thistle from any of the other Rockstar drinks I've had (maybe the coffee ones), but that's neither here nor there.

Again the serving portions make me laugh since the serving size is 8 fl oz, and the can is 16 fl oz.  (Woo hoo!  I'm drinking for two!)  And each serving size is 80 calories... so that's 160 calories for chunky ol' me.

For some reason that makes me feel a little fat since it's just a can.  I mean, if it was a steak, that'd be more filling, and I would feel fine with the calorie intake.

Anyway, moving on...

And now onto the ingredients (with my commentary):  

purified water (thank gawd it's purified - Praise Jeebus!), sucrose, coconut juice (10% all natural), taurine, natural flavors (what the frak does that even mean?), phosphoric acid, sodium citrate, caffeine, pectin (which makes me think it comes from "pecs"), sorbic acid, citric acid, calcium pantothenate (the last word makes me think it'd be found in Pantene), niacinamide, panax ginseng extract (I have no idea what "panax" is - it sounds like a convention.), milk thistle extract ("extract" reminds me of a joke I heard on a cooking show where they had to use almond extract and one of the guys said, "How do you extract an almond?" and the other guy answered, "Depends on where it's lodged."  Shut up!  I thought it was funny), pyridoxine hydrochloride, stevia (I like stevia), caramel color (this I find interesting since the drink is white and when I think of "caramel", I think of the color brown, but hey... I'm not a Rockstar mixologist genius), and cyanocobalamin.

Even though I mentioned this part in my other Rockstar review on this blog, I am presently dictating notes that I recorded on my iPhone while driving to Kathy's that day, and I felt the need to share my silly with you.  (Also, the statement is just a standard form letter.  You'll see if you look between the other review and this one.)

Mission Statement (with my commentary):

ROCKSTAR COCONUT WATER is designed for those who need a strong energy boost when it counts - plus maximum recovery and hydration, B-vitamins, caffeine, electrolytes (It's what plants crave!), and ROCKSTAR's potent herbal blend (crack, crack and more crack) are formulated to deliver that extra kick (up your ass).  With its refreshing coconut flavor, made with real coconut juice (remember, only 10%), ROCKSTAR COCONUT WATER is smooth, powerful and easy to drink.

And then in the teeny tiny print below that (which always makes me laugh):

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.  This product not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any diseases.

What comes to mind when I read the above:

Doctor Dumbass: I'm sorry Mr. Smith, but you have the ebola virus just like in the movie "Outbreak".
Mr. Smith: Oh no. Is there anything you can do?
Doctor Dumbass: Well, there's a new experimental procedure that has yet to be evaluated by the FDA, but it might work.
Mr. Smith: (desperate) I'll try anything.
Doctor Dumbass: (goes to mini-fridge, comes back and hands Mr. Smith a Rockstar)  Here.  Drink this.

Oh, and a little extra blurb.

Not recommended for children, pregnant or nursing women, or those sensitive to caffeine.

This just makes me think of some lady pouring a bottle of this into a baby bottle and giving it to her newborn.  "There you go, sweetie.  Drink your Rockstar like a good little baby."  (LOL!)

Okay, on to actually tasting this thing. 

After my first sip, I have to say, it wasn't bad.  It thankfully did not taste like ass.   

Sidenote:  That phrase always makes me wonder... what is your frame of reference in that comparison?  "This tastes like shit!"  (How would you know?  Have you eaten shit?) 

Random comment:  "Shit" makes me think of Divine from Pink Flamingos and "ass" makes me think of porn... not that I've seen any porn.  (LOL!...)

Warning!:  I had not eaten anything for the day when I started drinking this drink.  (I had a granola bar in my bag, but since I was driving on the freeway, I decided to save the granola bar retrieval for when I got to Kathy's.) 

Warning!  Tangent approaching...:  The last time I drank an energy drink without eating... yeah, that was pleasant, let me tell you. (sarcasm)  It was all kinds of weirdness going on.  I was like sleep-drunk and regular-drunk and hyper... but not too hyper. 

Warning!  Tangent commencing in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...:  I've always had an issue with energy drinks that don't really do anything for me.  They don't really give me that "extra kick" they claim to.  In general, things that are supposed to keep me awake and make me tired... don't, and I don't know why.  When I was a kid, I think it was because I was little and still getting used to meds and whatnot, so when I was sick, and my mother would give me meds that said "may cause drowsiness, do not operate heavy machinery, blah blah blah", and I'd pass out.  Now I don't recall if I was actually sleepy before I took the meds, and I just naturally fell asleep, but I just assumed it was the meds.

SO much better tasting than Triaminic!

My mother got mad at me once because when I was sick she gave me the yummy grape-flavored Dimetapp (I say yummy since it tasted WAY better than the Triaminic stuff she gave me and my brother.  Yuk!)  Anyway, she gave it to me one night, but I didn't get tired.  I couldn't sleep.  And since I was little, I couldn't get up and watch TV or even turn my light on to read (like I can now when I can't sleep) because my mom would tell me to go to bed.  So I'd just sit in bed in total darkness listening to the night noises or think up stories (I was a writer even then) or sometimes I turned my radio on really low.  When I told her about it later on, she said the reason I didn't get tired and fall asleep was because I didn't lay down.  Since I was sitting, the medicine couldn't go through my body.

I love my mom.  She's so cute.

Tangent over.  Back to energy drinks.

Now I usually have to have a serious dose of whatever I'm taking to have any effect on me - some amount more than the recommedned dosage.  As far as energy drinks for me go, the perfect combo that does not make me vibrate is a 15/16 fl oz can of whatever (in this case we'll say Rockstar) and a small "5 Hour Energy Shot" size bottle of go-juice in addition to that.

That's perfect.

After my second sip, I can still say that it's not bad.  Not gross.  The taste is pleasant and somewhat happy-making.  

Not like a Monster I once before.  They didn't have any AMP, and the gas station I was at had a very limited supply of drinks.  I think it was the blue one.  It was gross.  

If anything ever tasted of ass... *ick*

This Rockstar actually tastes like coconut water.  It's not like when products say "This tastes like (insert flavor here)", and you taste it, and it tastes NOTHING like that.

And it looks like actual coconut water inside the can (which still makes me wonder about the caramel coloring.  I know certain colors blend together and all, but...)  *shrug*

Would I ever try this again?  Yes indeedily-deed.  It tasted good, and sort of perked me up some (but then again it could just have been the company I was keeping on my drive, and I don't mean just me).  It seems that coconut water is becoming the next health food mainstream craze.  I had tried regular coconut water before, and it was all right.  It seems like the popular food industry has exhausted all the anti-oxidant berries and have started adding coconut water to things.  Makes me wonder what will be next.

http://www.rockstarenergyshop.com/rockstar-coconut-water-905.html

http://www.rockstar69.com/

ROCKSTAR, INC.

Las Vegas, NV 89109 USA

Peanut Butter Creme OREO Fudge Cremes

While staying at my mother's for Turkey Day, she usually has various snacks laying about the place so I am never lacking in the nosh department.

One of the things that I saw at my mom's place was a box that said OREO.  Of course, that caught my attention right away, but I was trying to cram so much into a few days that I never got a chance to inspect the box.

I think on my second to last day my mom and I were watching television, and I was getting a drink in the kitchen when I spotted the box and decided to take a peek.

From the box I pulled a little four pack of fudge-covered peanut butter OREOs.

Cha-ching!

I had once heard a guy on some sitcom talk about how peanut butter is like crack to women.  Now I love me some peanut butter, but by itself?  Not crack for me.  But combined with other yummy tasty treats... like chocolate?  Awww-to-the-yeah, baby!  Not quite crack but hella tasty and happy-making for this chic, right here!!!

Oh exclamation points... how I love thee!

Essentially these tiny TRON discs of love are half a cookie.  You know the usual grab both sides of the cookie and twist?  Well, this is just one cookie part with peanut butter creme on it and then it is all covered with chocolate creme.

I just finished an entire serving... which was four cookies (an entire package).  I've decided not to bother with the calories and all that since it's frakkin OREO COOKIES!!!  I'm sure you know how healthy they are.  If they were fantastic "eat ten of these and lose weight" type cookies, then I'll be all up in their business and telling you about it.

But pretty much y'all know the following...

Warning: too many of these wonderful treats may not be good for your waistline and may cause an increase in size to your posterior, thighs and stomach areas.  Also do not use as a loofah - may cause breakouts.

I'm not sayin'... I'm just sayin'... (duh!)

The package says "contains wheat, peanut, soy" and also is "manufactured on equipment that processes milk, tree nuts".  So there ya go.  You've been warned.

Would I ever try this again? Yes.  They are OREOS!  I have yet to meet an OREO I didn't like.  Now if they just made these cookies with BACON?  Hell, I'd marry me a bag of these sweet treats!


Distributed by:
Kraft Foods Global, Inc.
Northfield, IL 60093-2753
USA

http://www.nabiscoworld.com/oreo/
http://www.nabiscoworld.com/oreo/fudgecremes/

Clairol 'N Easy COLOR BLEND FOAM

What's she smiling about?

My (naturally curly) hair can be a bitch most days, and since I'm not a girly-girl, I usually lose the battle for (not perfect but) personally aesthetically pleasing hair.  I'm not picky.  I just don't want it to be huge and frizzed out like I just played tonsil hockey with a light socket.

Being the diva that it always is, it doesn't leave me with very many options on stuff to do to it.  It used to go down to my ass, but my mom cut it hella short the middle of my third grade year, and that little choice took FOREVER to grow out.

I never want to cut it due to losing length.  (Trust me.  I DO NOT look good with short hair.)  I don't need a perm.  Straightening too often can damage hair, and it costs A LOT of money (which is something I do not have at the moment).

So that leaves coloring.

I could pull this color off, right?

Back in the day when things were growing out, I only needed one box to take care of things.  When my hair got longer, it eventually took two.  And now, I'm at three.  As the number of boxes needed increases, the likelihood of me finding three boxes of the same brand lessens.  Even if it's a common color (like BROWN).  For the longest time, I wanted red - not like Crayola red, but a burgundy color (my favorite color), but that would require bleaching my entire head before dying (I'm naturally a dark brown), and the red fades quickly - quicker than I would like - leaving the blonde, and my hair does not like bleach.  Last time a friend did "highlights" in a few places, the color washed out leaving the bleached bits, and it didn't matter how much conditioner I put in... combing through the blonde parts was cutting my own leg off without anaesthesia using one prong of a spork.

Needless to say... it was uncomfortable.

More "me-looking"... if I had a personal stylist.

The only time it's never uncomfortable is when I get it professionally done, but that costs a lot of money and also fades.  (sigh)  So I've given up on doing anything elaborate with my hair (since it doesn't usually last that long anyway) and have stuck to box dyes and trying to get back to my natural shade which is essentially darkest brown.  (Not black.  Brown.)

Due to my many hair dying experiments (Yes, I was even blonde for a bit.  Don't try to imagine it, it damages the brain.), my hair has become this myriad of colors which aggravates my OCD.  When I wanted my hair to look like Joss Stone's in her "Tell Me 'Bout It" video, that was one thing.  I didn't care that I had various shades and colors in my curls.  But now when I want just ONE color, I get the exact opposite.

I don't give a frak about my white hairs.  I think they add character... like my widow's peak.  It's the light brown on top, dark on bottom, blonde streaks here, weird reddish color there that bothers me.  It lasts much longer than the red does, but it eventually fades (which is irksome), so I dye it again.  I usually save my dye jobs for my mom when I visit her.  It's usually a messy though entertaining experience.  This past Turkey day proved to be more on the messy said.

One of the colors I used.

We went to various stores, and when I would settle on a brand or a color, they'd end up only having one box.  My mom's always suggesting something different than what I told her that I wanted.  But when she suggested the Nice 'N Easy brand, I saw they had a foam option right next to it.  My mom was doubtful, but I continued to look.  They didn't have much in the dark brown department (they had medium brown and lighter), but they had one box of the dark reddish brown which for some reason I was drawn to.  So we snatched it up and headed to another drugstore (same chain, different location) and checked out their stock.  They had no dark reddish brown, but they had the original color brown I wanted so getting tired of driving around for hair dye, I decided to get the two boxes of brown and I'd mix in the little bit of reddish dark brown I had.  (I did this before a long time ago with a different line of Clairol hair dye, and it worked out fine.)  So Mom and I went home, I mixed the dyes evenly (it was standard like all hair dye - add the color to the developer, shake/mix until blended).  Mom applied each bottle to my hair and ta da!

The first bottle I mixed became all light brown bubbles on the inside. Mom used that one first, when she squeezed the bottle, barely anything came out.  The "foam" was the consistency of bubbles, not foam.  Then after after done with that bottle, she used the second bottle I had prepared which had settled to look like cola.  Mom thought it wasn't mixed since it didn't look like the first bottle, but when she squeezed the bottle, it was fine.  The third bottle resembled the second but acted like the first.  My mom ended up taking the caps off and pouring the dye directly onto my head.  Bottle empty.  Hair clipped into place.  I left it in for 20-30 minutes per the directions.

After the time allotted, I hopped the shower and followed the directions and rinsed my hair until the water went clear.  Then I applied the conditioner, let it sit for two minutes at least (I rapped "Bust A Move" by Young MC to help time it and pass the time).  When I got out of the shower, I noticed that the dye my mother tried to clean from my temples, hairline, ears and neck were not completely gone.  She also started giving me grief for not cleaning my hair correctly.  When I questioned what she was talking about, she pointed out the little bits of residue in my hair in various places which I thought was ridiculous since I had paid attention and scrubbed hoping the dye on my skin would go away as well.  Nope.

Since then, when I go to scratch my hair/head, I draw my hand back to find dye residue under my nails.  It's not as thick as it was the day after my hair was dyed, but it's still there, and it's driving me nuts.  It's been about two weeks now, and I'm still getting icky under my nails?  I will concede that maybe that first time I didn't get it all which would explain my mom's findings, but two weeks?  I have washed my hair and even made a conscious point to scrub (once with nails, once with fingertips, once with both) my head from stem to stern, but I'm still getting hair dye gunk under my nails.

This was also the only dye that ever made my head tingle and itch.  The last time that happened was when I got my hair straightened in a salon, but I held out as long as I could and lasted until the timer dinged.  My head didn't start to tingle until my mother was on the second bottle.  I had my own gloves on so I'd itch a bit here and there.  It wasn't constant, and I learned to ignore it, but still.

Neither the ick under my nails or the almost immediate irritation had ever happened before.  I think my hair looks fine though it looked oddly a little reddish on the top.  I think it'd faded since then, but even though my hair looks fine, something isn't sitting well with me.  Also the process in getting to this point wasn't very happy-making at all.


Would I ever try this again?  Most likely not.  The faulty bottles.  The irritating formula.  The only plus through all this was the conditioner, but then again the conditioner is always awesome.  Yeah no. I don't think I'll be foam-dying my hair again (unless they perfect the process a little more).  Too many things went wrong or were something of a problem to make me want to try it one more time.  I think I'll stick to cremes. 


http://www.clairol.com/
http://www.clairol.com/en-US/how-to-page.aspx?collectionid=46&gclid=COO_lPeS7awCFQN-hwodIhfILw 

From their website:

• Call us Monday through Friday, 8:30 a.m. to 8:30 p.m. EST, or Saturday, 9:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. EST.
• In the U.S., you can call 1-800-CLAIROL (1-800-252-4765) for English, or 1-800-HISPANA (1-800-477-7262) for Spanish.

Fine Bacon Chocolates

My family is so crafty, yo!

My birthday is so close to Thanksgiving that I usually wait to celebrate it with my family when I go home for the holiday.

Ahhh yes.  Turkey, cake and ice cream...

... And chocolate with bacon in it?

Since my niece is DA BOMB, I went to see her immediately to get a good dose of some cutie pie cuddles and sweet adoring kisses.

When I got there, my brother and his family presented me with birthday presents (which I never really expect, but they are always nice to get).  Of my presents, I was surprised to receive an elite box of bacon chocolates.

I had never seen chocolates like this before.

Were they from Paris, France?  Venice, Italy?  Madrid, Spain?

No.  I was surprised to see they came from Fresno, CA.

Well spank my ass and make me say "mama"!

The cocoa beans were imported from Spain, but other than that, the yumscious chocolate treats were made in good ol' Fresno.  (Color me surprised.)

Forever to live on my hips and thighs.

Being a fan of chocolate, bacon, and... well... chocolate AND bacon, I unwrapped the box and dove right in.

Opening the box was reminiscent of the scene from Pulp Fiction whenever anyone opened up the infamous suitcase.  A brilliant heavenly glow shined upon my face, warming my soul and almost bringing a tear to my eye.

I think I even heard a chorus of angels singing the chocolates praises.

Inside I found delectable cubes and hearts of pure love wrapped in tissue papers that were (no doubt) hand-crafted and flown in from Brazil, each paper carefully selected to hug the pure decadent gluttony of each scrumptious morsel.

At present, I am trying to use restraint and not devour them all in one sitting.  (And trust me, I can do it.  Consider it one of my super powers.)

• Serving size: the whole frakkin box
• Calories per serving: delicious
• Calories from fat: even more deliciousness
• Allergy advisory: if you're allergic to yummy things, don't eat this
• Warning: May contain joy and later produce ridiculously silly grins followed by various sighs of contentment.  Also may be addictive.  Proceed with caution.

Would I ever try this again?  HELLS YEAH!!!  People, come on now!  It's CHOCOLATE and BACON!!!  If my brother and niece make these tasty treats for me again, who the frak am I to say no? 

Exclusively distributed by:
My brother and my niece (with love)

Manufactured by:
My brother and my niece (with love)