Monster Energy Drink - Green

At the lovely gas station down the street from the Togo's I used to go to for lunch, I was craving any sort of 'something' that would help get me through the day and wake my ass up. Usually I drink AMP or Redline... or even a Starbucks Espresso Shot, but unfortunately they did not have any. Instead from the selection of energy drinks that they had, I chose Monster - since I never had it and was curious... and because it looked the least threatening.

Now I have to say right now that I was going to use a simple picture of the can, but seeing as my review of this drink is not favorable, I thought I'd make the picture a little more pleasant on the eyes since the drink was not pleasant on my palate. And I even made the picture bigger to make up for how much I 'disliked' this drink.

I thought the lady in the picture had a nice figure, but now I realize that even this picture agrees that Monster is ass juice.

Now with all energy drinks, they are best served cold. I waited until I got back to the office to crack it open and start chugging. It was still cold, but oh my heavens... the TASTE!!! Now, it wasn't as vile as the Upshot, but it was definitely FAR WORSE than the good old fashioned Redline. It was so icky, I didn't even finish the can. (Yeah, but you finish the Upshot. Sure I did, but that was due to a momentary lapse in higher brain activity... and I couldn't let Kathy suffer alone. We shared in our stupidity together... with cappucino cookie chasers.) A co-worker said, "The blue is better." And my reply was something along the lines of, "As if I'm putting another can of this shit to my lips regardless of what color or flavor it is."

Would I try it again? I would sooner drink a smoothie made from tapioca, liver and gizzard.

http://www.monsterenergy.com/