Rockstar Relax (Relaxation Drink)

The color scheme makes me think of
Jamaica. How about you?

Today (technically yesterday/Friday by the time this post is being written, but I don't consider it the next day until the sun comes up so...) I was going to a book event out of town with a couple friends, and I knew that I'd most likely be groggy due to the whole "insomnia being a frakkin bitch" thing so I figured I'd get me an energy drink of some kind.

I had some errands to run before I met up at my friends' place to carpool to the event (The Bloggess is awesomesauce!).  I first headed to the AM/PM down the street from my house to get gas and opted to get a bottle of water for the trip, a 7Up for my upset tummy, and some energy thing of some kind that I could drink to help me wake up a little for the event.

As an aside, I've come to the conclusion if energy anything has any kind of effect on me, it's delayed by a few hours.  Still, the only proof that energy drinks have any effect on me is if I either have a 15-16 fl oz can on an empty stomach (oh yeah, that's a fun treat for everyone) OR if I have one too many which left me once with incredibly shaking hands after a three-hour drive to visit family.  My mother's husband was home, but she was still at work, so I retired to "my room" to watch The Lost Room on my media player.  I laid down on the bed and held my media player above my head with both hands to find my hands shaking a la Gene Wilder in the Blazing Saddles.

And let me tell you right now that if you're not familiar with that movie, I don't think we can be friends.

Moving on...

So while at the coolers in the mini-mart, I saw that they started Rockstar Coconut Water so I got one of those, but then I saw this weird colorful can that I hadn't seen before on the shelf below the one I had just grabbed.  It was red, black, yellow and green, and I wondered What the frak is this?

And of course I whipped it out.

It was called Rockstar Relax (relaxation drink).  Intrigued I read on to see it claimed to be caffeine free, non-carbonated, tropical guava flavor, sugar free and a calming herbal blend.

Since the place is always having a sale on drinks like this, I got it and the coconut water both for $4.00-ish since one would be more than half that.  (Yeah, I'm all kinds of thrifty.)  After I was done pumping gas, I went about my day's errands and didn't chug the coconut water until I was on my way to meet my friends.

I saved the "relaxation drink" for the evening when I got home.  (The insomniac in me is willing to try pretty much anything to help me get to sleep at a reasonable time without waking up every hour or so eventually crawling out of bed restless and unhappy.)

At first taste, it reminds me of the juice Rockstars that I've had before (of which I still prefer the grape although both flavors are good) in its consistency.  The taste is much like a tea (at least to me).  I'm used to drinking sweeter teas like ones dispensed from soda fountains at gas station snack bars or fast food restaurants.  This tea taste is a little sweet though not much.  Kind of like an Arizona tea.

Looking over the can again, I see that I'm back to drinking for two (since the can says half is one serving).   

Thanks Rockstar for making me waste one bazillasecond of my life thinking of how fat I am for consuming two serving portions.  The humanitarian award goes to...?

Ingredients...

• triple filtered purified water (that's some serious water)
• citric acid
• phosporic acid, 
• sodium hexametaphosphate (that last word makes me think I sound smart when I say it out loud... also the hexa part makes me think of hexapumas from David Weber's Honor Harrington books)
• natural flavors (from where?  from what?)
• rooibos tea extract (this would explain the tea flavor I tasted)
• benzoic acid
• sorbid acid (what the frak is up with all the acid in this drink?)
• passionflower extract
• rose hips extract (more tea stuff)
• acesulfame potassium (first word... something else to make you sound smart when said aloud)
• sucralose (sugary stuff)
• L-Theanine (no idea)
• chamomile flower extract (tea stuff)

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR CHILDREN.  This product may cause drowsiness.  Do not operate a vehicle or heavy machinery following consumption of this product.

Now I'm assuming the statement above is two in one and not meant to be read together since (if they did go together), I'd imagine sleepy kids trying to operate their big wheel or game consoles while falling asleep or passing out from tossing back a couple cans of this "relaxation drink".

You smell that?  That was SARCASM... by Calvin Klein.

The ULTIMATE? I don't think

CHILL OUT AND RELAX IN STYLE.  Ultra premium ingredients deliver an incredible level of relaxation.  Enhanced  with chamomile & passionflower, ROCKSTAR RELAX is designed for those who need to unwind and take a breather from their active and exhausting lifestyles.  Enjoy this incredibly refreshing, tropical guava flavored relaxation drink chilled.

Who writes this stuff?  It sounds like a glorified resume.

The only way I see this relaxing me if it was loaded with either booze or pot, and since this has neither... I just drank a can of stuff that tastes like tea and now I have to pee.   (Well done, Rockstar.  Well done, indeed.)


Would I ever try this again?  Sure.  Why not?  Granted it won't be something that I'd actively seek out again, but it really didn't do anything for me.  I do, however, commend Rockstar and making a drink that does (or claims to) the polar opposite of what their other drinks do.  It seems fairly common sense to me for a company that supplies you with uppers also provide downers as well.  *cheeky grin*

http://www.rockstar69.com/product.php?pdt=22

http://www.rockstar69.com/

ROCKSTAR, INC.

Las Vegas, NV 89109 USA