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| A surprising curious can I see before me. |
So a couple weeks ago while I was on my way to my friends' new place to listen to our SoCal friends Dusty, RJ and Sasha's internet radio show
Dusty's World, I had stopped off at an Asian market en route for supplies (aka apple juice).
The apple juice was for the rest of the Jager we didn't finish the week before (where we finished off the rest of her sparkling apple cider which we think went flat, but it went well with the Jager so we said "apple juice for next time".)
Shot of Jager, topped off with apple juice. Pretty frakkin yummy people. That's all I have to say about that. (My gal pal Kathy W. fixed up so yumscious credit goes to her.)
While at the market, I decided to peruse the aisles a bit since I hadn't been there in a while, and I like me some Asian markets.
What?! The Asian likes Asian markets?! Get outta town!
So of course I checked out the candy aisle where I've bought many a packet of
Hi-Chew candy (if you can find lychee flavor, send it my way, thank ya muchly) as well as dried salted plums (great PMS snack) and sesame ball cookies (no need to make that dirty, I can do that myself).
But I couldn't find the apple juice.
Eventually I found the apple juice in the cooler section. The open coolers that stored things like chicken wings or (from what I saw when I found the juice) whole rabbit. On platforms above the open coolers were various bottles of tea and juice, but I only saw two or three brands of apple juice, regular sized bottles. So I asked an employee that was restocking shelves if those were the only sizes he had, and he said yes so I snatched one up and continued to look about.
On the other side from where I found the juice, I found various bottles of coconut water and milk drinks which brought to mind that actress Yvonne Strahovski is the new spokeswoman for
SoBe Lifewater with Coconut Water so I thought I'd try to find some and try it out for myself.
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| Really. I'm interested only in the drink. I swear. *grin of innocence* |
Unfortunately I was not able to find any SoBe Lifewater with Coconut Water.
But I did find this bright blue can that had a familiar logo on it and made my curiosity say "Go there! I want to see what the pretty blue is."
Rockstar Coconut Water.
Color me intrigued.
I just grabbed the can and walked off looking for other interesting things that caught my fancy before heading to the register.
It wasn't until the next day when I was on my way to meet Kathy W. back at her place to take her to the airport (she was visiting out-of-state family for the weekend) that I cracked this baby blue bad boy open.
Now the can said to "shake gently" so I tipped it from side to side before opening it. The can said it was a non-carbonated coconut water energy drink made with 10% coconut juice so in theory I could have shaken the hell out of it, but I played it safe and stuck with the can's suggestion of "gently".
Below the ROCKSTAR COCONUT WATER, it said "Energy + Hydration" as well as "+Electrolytes" and "+High Caffeine". The top of the can said "caffeine, B-vitamins, taurine, ginseng and milk thistle". Now I don't remember milk thistle from any of the other Rockstar drinks I've had (
maybe the coffee ones), but that's neither here nor there.
Again the serving portions make me laugh since the serving size is 8 fl oz, and the can is 16 fl oz. (Woo hoo! I'm drinking for two!) And each serving size is 80 calories... so that's 160 calories for chunky ol' me.
For some reason that makes me feel a little fat since it's just a can. I mean, if it was a steak, that'd be more filling, and I would feel fine with the calorie intake.
Anyway, moving on...
And now onto the ingredients (with my commentary):
purified water (thank gawd it's purified - Praise Jeebus!
), sucrose, coconut juice (10% all natural
), taurine, natural flavors (what the frak does that even mean?
),
phosphoric acid, sodium citrate, caffeine, pectin (which makes me think it comes from "pecs"
), sorbic acid, citric
acid, calcium pantothenate (the last word makes me think it'd be found in Pantene
), niacinamide, panax ginseng extract (I have no idea what "panax" is - it sounds like a convention.
), milk
thistle extract ("extract" reminds me of a joke I heard on a cooking show where they had to use almond extract and one of the guys said, "How do you extract an almond?" and the other guy answered, "Depends on where it's lodged." Shut up! I thought it was funny
), pyridoxine hydrochloride, stevia (I like stevia
), caramel color (this I find interesting since the drink is white and when I think of "caramel", I think of the color brown, but hey... I'm not a Rockstar mixologist genius
), and cyanocobalamin.
Even though I mentioned this part in my other
Rockstar review on this blog, I am presently dictating notes that I recorded on my iPhone while driving to Kathy's that day, and I felt the need to share my silly with you. (Also, the statement is just a standard form letter. You'll see if you look between the other review and this one.)
Mission Statement (with my commentary):
ROCKSTAR COCONUT WATER is designed for those who need a strong energy
boost when it counts - plus maximum recovery and hydration, B-vitamins,
caffeine, electrolytes (
It's what plants crave!)
, and ROCKSTAR's potent herbal blend (crack, crack and more crack
) are
formulated to deliver that extra kick (up your ass
). With its refreshing coconut flavor,
made with real coconut juice (remember, only 10%
), ROCKSTAR COCONUT WATER is smooth, powerful and easy to drink.
And then in the teeny tiny print below that (which always makes me laugh):
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug
Administration. This product not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or
prevent any diseases.
What comes to mind when I read the above:
Doctor Dumbass: I'm sorry Mr. Smith, but you have the ebola virus just like in the movie "Outbreak".
Mr. Smith: Oh no. Is there anything you can do?
Doctor Dumbass: Well, there's a new experimental procedure that has yet to be evaluated by the FDA, but it might work.
Mr. Smith: (desperate) I'll try anything.
Doctor Dumbass: (goes to mini-fridge, comes back and hands Mr. Smith a Rockstar) Here. Drink this.
Oh, and a little extra blurb.
Not recommended for children, pregnant or nursing women, or those sensitive to caffeine.
This just makes me think of some lady pouring a bottle of this into a baby bottle and giving it to her newborn. "There you go, sweetie. Drink your Rockstar like a good little baby." (LOL!)
Okay, on to actually tasting this thing.
After my first sip, I have to say, it wasn't bad. It thankfully did not taste like ass.
Sidenote: That phrase always makes me wonder... what is your frame of reference in that comparison? "This tastes like shit!" (How would you know? Have you eaten shit?)
Random comment: "Shit" makes me think of Divine from Pink Flamingos and "ass" makes me think of porn... not that I've seen any porn. (LOL!...)
Warning!: I had not eaten anything for the day when I started drinking this drink. (I had a granola bar in my bag, but since I was driving on the freeway, I decided to save the granola bar retrieval for when I got to Kathy's.)
Warning! Tangent approaching...: The last time I drank an energy drink without eating... yeah, that was pleasant, let me tell you. (sarcasm) It was all kinds of weirdness going on. I was like sleep-drunk and regular-drunk and hyper... but not too hyper.
Warning! Tangent commencing in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...: I've always had an issue with energy drinks that don't really do anything for me. They don't really give me that "extra kick" they claim to. In general, things that are supposed to keep me awake and make me tired... don't, and I don't know why. When I was a kid, I think it was because I was little and still getting used to meds and whatnot, so when I was sick, and my mother would give me meds that said "may cause drowsiness, do not operate heavy machinery, blah blah blah", and I'd pass out. Now I don't recall if I was actually sleepy before I took the meds, and I just naturally fell asleep, but I just assumed it was the meds.
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| SO much better tasting than Triaminic! |
My mother got mad at me once because when I was sick she gave me the yummy grape-flavored Dimetapp (I say yummy since it tasted WAY better than the Triaminic stuff she gave me and my brother. Yuk!) Anyway, she gave it to me one night, but I didn't get tired. I couldn't sleep. And since I was little, I couldn't get up and watch TV or even turn my light on to read (like I can now when I can't sleep) because my mom would tell me to go to bed. So I'd just sit in bed in total darkness listening to the night noises or think up stories (I was a writer even then) or sometimes I turned my radio on really low. When I told her about it later on, she said the reason I didn't get tired and fall asleep was because I didn't lay down. Since I was sitting, the medicine couldn't go through my body.
I love my mom. She's so cute.
Tangent over. Back to energy drinks.
Now I usually have to have a serious dose of whatever I'm taking to have any effect on me - some amount more than the recommedned dosage. As far as energy drinks for me go, the perfect combo that does not make me vibrate is a 15/16 fl oz can of whatever (in this case we'll say Rockstar) and a small "5 Hour Energy Shot" size bottle of go-juice in addition to that.
That's perfect.
After my second sip, I can still say that it's not bad. Not gross. The taste is pleasant and somewhat happy-making.
Not like a Monster I once before. They didn't have any AMP, and the gas station I was at had a very limited supply of drinks. I think it was the blue one. It was gross.
If anything ever tasted of ass... *ick*
This Rockstar actually tastes like coconut water. It's not like when products say "This tastes like (insert flavor here)", and you taste it, and it tastes NOTHING like that.
And it looks like actual coconut water inside the can (which still makes me wonder about the caramel coloring. I know certain colors blend together and all, but...) *shrug*
Would I ever try this again? Yes indeedily-deed. It tasted good, and sort of perked me up some (but then again it could just have been the company I was keeping on my drive, and I don't mean just me). It seems that coconut water is becoming the next health food mainstream craze. I had tried regular coconut water before, and it was all right. It seems like the popular food industry has exhausted all the anti-oxidant berries and have started adding coconut water to things. Makes me wonder what will be next.
http://www.rockstarenergyshop.com/rockstar-coconut-water-905.html
ROCKSTAR, INC.
Las Vegas, NV 89109 USA
