Fine Bacon Chocolates

My family is so crafty, yo!

My birthday is so close to Thanksgiving that I usually wait to celebrate it with my family when I go home for the holiday.

Ahhh yes.  Turkey, cake and ice cream...

... And chocolate with bacon in it?

Since my niece is DA BOMB, I went to see her immediately to get a good dose of some cutie pie cuddles and sweet adoring kisses.

When I got there, my brother and his family presented me with birthday presents (which I never really expect, but they are always nice to get).  Of my presents, I was surprised to receive an elite box of bacon chocolates.

I had never seen chocolates like this before.

Were they from Paris, France?  Venice, Italy?  Madrid, Spain?

No.  I was surprised to see they came from Fresno, CA.

Well spank my ass and make me say "mama"!

The cocoa beans were imported from Spain, but other than that, the yumscious chocolate treats were made in good ol' Fresno.  (Color me surprised.)

Forever to live on my hips and thighs.

Being a fan of chocolate, bacon, and... well... chocolate AND bacon, I unwrapped the box and dove right in.

Opening the box was reminiscent of the scene from Pulp Fiction whenever anyone opened up the infamous suitcase.  A brilliant heavenly glow shined upon my face, warming my soul and almost bringing a tear to my eye.

I think I even heard a chorus of angels singing the chocolates praises.

Inside I found delectable cubes and hearts of pure love wrapped in tissue papers that were (no doubt) hand-crafted and flown in from Brazil, each paper carefully selected to hug the pure decadent gluttony of each scrumptious morsel.

At present, I am trying to use restraint and not devour them all in one sitting.  (And trust me, I can do it.  Consider it one of my super powers.)

• Serving size: the whole frakkin box
• Calories per serving: delicious
• Calories from fat: even more deliciousness
• Allergy advisory: if you're allergic to yummy things, don't eat this
• Warning: May contain joy and later produce ridiculously silly grins followed by various sighs of contentment.  Also may be addictive.  Proceed with caution.

Would I ever try this again?  HELLS YEAH!!!  People, come on now!  It's CHOCOLATE and BACON!!!  If my brother and niece make these tasty treats for me again, who the frak am I to say no? 

Exclusively distributed by:
My brother and my niece (with love)

Manufactured by:
My brother and my niece (with love)